Chinese New Year (2016).
Introduction
I want to talk about my experience about visiting China and in 2016, it was during the Chinese New Year and I was visiting with a girlfriend I was dating at the time and the family and everybody welcome me. Very different than how I get treated here in America. The idea about sharing this onā¦ Is talk about the perceptions of people and how I view them. Just to go ahead and give people a visual, the idea of where this is. Itās actually here in China, right here and this is basically at the border of North Korea and what the problem was, was that when I was trying to talk about how great the experience was about being in China, was it became a big talk about me visiting China or perhaps talking to people from North Korea and that really messed with my mind because I was actually excited that I actually was able to go to China, actually go there.
I was pretty excited but I was also nervous because I was actually moving in a path that was all on my own coming around and saying anything about it. Visiting the China and being at the border made me realize that the world was complex but only if you choose to believe it was. I was moving with my heart. I didnāt feel that I was under an harm but I was skeptical with looking at the relationship with her and her family than I already was. This picture below was an example of how it looked to me . Traveling to places I never been was always an experience that can not be explain with words but with actions.
If I had the opportunity to go to north korean I probably would have but I was not in china for that reason. I wanted to experience China and see the people and the life they made for themselves with my own eyes. I realized while on this journey that money was an illusion that even thought there money was not as valuabel as American Currency was they was able to live a regular life. The housing was very similar to American Public housing and I was shocked that they had the ability to purchase the apartment they had and own there community.
So the idea about going there was just to be able to see what was going on. I was just going there just to visit her family and just see the country and visit her. It was a lot to take in because of the fact that her family was treating me one way and people around was treating me another way. Some of my friend were worried that I would be given harm and others were willing to make fun of being in such a situation. The people Of Dandon was very nice and didnāt show any forms of aggression or ridicule. I thought that it was strange to not have any ridicule there was some at the airport but not through her family.
How it all startedā¦
So, it actually started with this game. This is the pump it up dance simulation game from South Korea. And we spent a lot of time playing it. I used to come after work, drive home and walk or take the train to Coney Island to play. It was very interesting because of the fact that I didnāt really see a reason to go any place else because of the fact that it was so close. Normally I would have to go to Chinatown, which would be like maybe a half an hour ride on the train, or I would go to Long island, which would be like a 45 minute drive. It became very comfortable, but it wasnāt until here I met the girl I was dating. At the time, she actually was working on a temporary for visa, just for the summer.
And I was actually about just going to play the game and stuff, but I was willing to go ahead and talk to her and her friends. There was a lot of them, maybe four or five of them. And I would visit the place here when they were working. And then I would go ahead and spend time going to different locations. We went to a club. They wanted to go to the different seaports. We went to the Yankees game and they were just looking to have fun and I was looking to go ahead and entertain them in some type of form. But we slowly started to hit it off. And when she went back to China, it was very emotional state. I was just kind of like crying. I was kind of like sad as well, but I wanted to go ahead and visit her and I let her know, I said, āIāll come, if basically your family donāt mind.ā
And they were even pretty nice too about it. But I was actually also struggling with going between jobs at that time. But right after she went back home, I went toā¦ My job was like I had a contract. I was a consultant and she went back home in September. And then in October, my contract ended. I already knew it was ending anyway. And then in November, I was struggling to go ahead and come up with another opportunity to work. And then in, what was it? And then in December I started working again and then I planned to goā¦ And I was working that first couple of weeks and I was able to go ahead.
I had some money saved up and was able to just go ahead and visit. I was looking to just visit and one of the reasons why, because there was a lot of things going on in America, with my job, trying to find work, trying to hold down the job, the apartment I had and I realized that these issues that was coming was going on around me, was affecting a lot of how I perceived certain things. I think that maybe leaving and going away, wouldāve been an opportunity, but I never really. I always felt like all the problems I run into, I could solve eventually if I think them through. But when I was actually going ahead and visitingā¦ I actually was working here, let me see if I can find that picture, one moment. Yeah. Iām trying to see if I could find that picture.
Meeting the grandmotherā¦
This is her grandmother, who was really nice. She actually spent a lot of time making sure I was making sure I was happy. She made sure I felt comfortable there the whole time. And I think just talking with her, even though she didnāt speak any English, that I was able to go ahead and feel that there was some sort of, I guess, some hospitality. I felt like I was safe and comfortable there. The family, and her older cousins and nieces and nephews and uncles, all had their own perspective on what they thought I was supposed to be doing, or what they thought I was up to. Everybody had their own ideas.
But for me, it really wanted me to want to learn Chinese, because I felt like thereās this whole other world out there that I do not necessarily know about. And that, because I donāt know about that, because I donāt speak the language, Iām not locked. Now, I can go into like my opportunities going to China. I mean, to going to Japan. But I think that being in America, and then living in America, growing up in America, and then going to China, after traveling to all the other countries, that China was something that I didnāt get a chance to trulyā¦ It was a totally different thing.
And the thing about it was that one thing that everybody was busy. Everybody had their own things going on. Things were pretty happy, but it wasnāt like the way everybody in America was trying to tell me. A lot of people in America was trying to say that youāre going to run into all these problems. Thereās going to be all these issues. And I realize that thatās a safety mechanism that we have, all of us, when we are about to move into something that we perceive as going to be a problem. But I definitely think that Iām glad I actually made the choices to going there.
When I came back, I noticed a lot of things that were changing. When I started traveling on the plane, thereās a lot more pushback about where I was going and what I was doing. A lot of things were going on a lot differently around me. But I definitely think that if I had the opportunity to go back again, that I could do things differently. I think that I wish I would have always would have had more time to think things through, before just stopping everything. But I definitely feel that the idea about going to China wasnāt necessarily a mistake, at all. The visiting of the China, and visiting the family, everybody seemed to be interested in what I was interested in. Let me take that back. Itās not really they were all interested in what the things that I was interested in. It was nothing different. Everybody had their own life and their own dreams and their own wants, and I realized that I couldnāt see that.
And thatās one of the things about why I encourage more people to visit and go places, because we wonāt necessarily know what is the right thing or wrong thing to do, unless we step through that. If we go ahead and we stop too short, we tend to miss out on things. I think Will Smith said something like heās said that he was really afraid to jump, and when he jumped, he realized he was bliss, looking at the world from that particular standpoint, which it was quick. But he said sometimes the good things are usually in front of you, and not behind you. So with that being said, I think that I can actually feel that this is actually the way to handle things, when it comes down to thinking about it. I donāt feel that theā¦ Let me see.